There have been many times in my life that i’ve held my breath and jumped in head first for what i know will be better in the long run. Today, i start that journey again. This time, i’m asking Daddy to trust, too. It’s not easy, but we’re doing it.
From the moment my mom died leaving me the house in a trust it’s been a disaster. The trust has hurt every member of my family. Though it’s been really hard on so many levels, it’s kept a roof over my head when i needed it most. The time has come to let go of the safety net, stop bitching about how my mom did it, and stand on my own two feet once again. Today, i hired an attorney to break the trust and sell the home splitting the proceeds equally between us kids.
i typically don’t do major life changes until it hurts so bad that i have no other choice! i hang on til the wheels have fallen off and this time… i waited til the house is literally falling apart right under me. OK! i hear you!! The universe is telling me it’s time to let go and make the life i want without strings. It’s telling me i’m ready.
The timing is hard financially and brings out all kinds of fears. i’m amazingly calm at this prospect. i feel it in my bones that the time is right and things will be fine. We’ll be fine. i also live my life following my gut most of the time. Things seriously go to shit when i ignore that instinct or follow the advice of others. Daddy couldn’t be more opposite in this one area. He’s a meticulous planner weighing all of the possibilities before doing things. i appreciate that about Him. This is hard for Him. Harder than i’d like it to be. i have a core feeling at all times that no matter what happens, i’m always going to be ok. That’s not something i can give to another person. Sure wish i could right about now.
What i’ve learned about big life changes like this… they never happen at a good time! lol Never, ever… not once. i equate things like this to having a baby. People always say they want to be ready with a laundry list of things they want before having a baby. Bottom line is you’re never going to be ready and when it happens you figure it out. So, here we are. 🙂 Figure it out!
i’m an adventurous spirit at heart. i’m excited to be starting a whole new journey. i see this journey as finally having personal freedom in every way. The picture above depicts exactly what’s going on inside.
i’ve spent most of my life doing exactly what others think i’m supposed to. i was afraid to make decisions for myself, so i ended up with a life others wanted for me. i’ve worked hard to bust out of this self-imposed prison. This is the final step. Live my life unappologetically as ME!
Took me a long time to realize that all anxiety isn’t bad. i’m not anxious about the negatives which may come from this. i’m EXCITED about the possibility of the life ahead.