It’s a beautiful spring day. Warm and breezy. By all rights, i should be outside flying a kite with Daddy! Quarantine restrictions are being lifted. Curfew and the National Guard have left.

Why am i inside rather than enjoying this gorgeous spring day? Stress weighs heavy in our home.

i’m waiting for the plumber to come. Our water heater went out yesterday. Daddy is sick in bed, day #2. Stress i think coupled with a bit of depression. He’s been unemployed since April 13th and is still waiting on His first unemployment check to come through. To say money is tight is an understatement!

We’re still in the holding pattern with our home. Our lawyer is doing what he can, but the courts are all still closed, so things are pretty much at a stand still. Our home is a disaster area! i do my best to make it pretty, but living here is exactly what it’s like in a 3rd world country. i’ve spent time in a 3rd world country… i know what i’m talking about!

It’s hard to stay positive when everything around you is constantly a struggle. The world is in chaos. Rightfully so! Black Lives Matter is one of the causes that i champion in a serious way.

Life is hard right now. i’m not depressed. i’m frustrated and exhausted of the drama. For the last few years i have been learning lesson after lesson in patience, acceptance, gratitude and doing the next right thing. FFS, i’m tired of learning! This has gone on long enough!!!! If i believed in god, i’d tell him to stop picking on me.

Maybe i’ll put a ball cap over my bedhead and take the dogs for a long walk. i can’t shower and wash it til after the plumber comes. *sigh* Just one more time i’m trying to put a smile on and do the next right thing when the world really sucks.

Don’t tell me you’re sorry or give me platitudes that it’ll get better. i will bitch at your!