It was this time of year that I cried constantly and my heart broke over and over again each time I saw a baby or a pregnant woman. It’s just a few weeks before my little Katie would have been born. It’s been 7 years and still I think of what life would have been like with her. I was supposed to be infertile. I’d … Continue reading Katie
I reserve the right to end relationships which no longer work for me regardless of how it impacts the other person. It took me 4 decades to able to do that. I’m beyond proud of myself for it and support others in doing the same thing! I lived in a family where love and belonging were 100% conditional upon being “good” and towing the line, … Continue reading Closing Doors
I share myself and my life openly here. Today I’m sharing that I’m hurting and really heartbroken. I’m confused and overwhelmed. Honestly, I’m outraged and humiliated, as well. I am NOT seeking advice or opinions about what to do in this situation. I am simply putting my feelings and experiences forward. It’s hard enough to walk this path. Porn addiction has hit the McDaddy home. … Continue reading Porn / Fetlife Addiction
The last couple of days I’ve been especially honest in my reactions to people. I am finding more and more that I am most certainly my mother’s daughter! She was loved and respected by many… and intensely disliked by others. Daddy described my style of communication as a reality punch in the face earlier today. I tend to agree. There are those who love it … Continue reading Reality Punch in the Face
A friend here on WP just sparked a memory in me that I want to talk about. Self-esteem is one of those things which covers all parts of who we are and how we cope and function in the world. I struggled with self-esteem issues for several decades of my life. I have never felt unloved. My mom adored me and I always knew that. … Continue reading Worthy of Love
It’s a beautiful spring day. Warm and breezy. By all rights, i should be outside flying a kite with Daddy! Quarantine restrictions are being lifted. Curfew and the National Guard have left. Why am i inside rather than enjoying this gorgeous spring day? Stress weighs heavy in our home. i’m waiting for the plumber to come. Our water heater went out yesterday. Daddy is sick … Continue reading Life
i am an introvert of epic proportions. i love people, chatting, entertaining and all the like. i just can’t do it in large quantities. i need multiple hours a day of quiet time in order to recharge. i may be listening to music, cleaning, scrubbing the house, blogging, napping, gaming, running on the treadmill at the gym. The list of what is “quiet” and relaxing … Continue reading Tired vs Over-stimulated
This post is for Eliza following her request earlier today. Check out her blog https://elizajourneythroughlife.home.blog/. I’ve written a number of posts about living with and overcoming from an eating disorder. Today I want to talk about living in recovery. I’ve been recovered for about 10 years now. It’s different in so many ways. One of them is having the ability to actively choose to self-soothe … Continue reading Recovery from an Eating Disorder
There has been a slew of things happen in the last 8+ months that just add to the feeling of things being out of control. Each one worse than the last. The mounting stress is killing both of us. For the moment, I can only speak for myself. It’s my moment of clarity after all. This isn’t the first time in my life that I’ve … Continue reading Moment of Clarity
There was a time in my life that I couldn’t stand sitting quiet. No talking, tv, radio, or outside source of entertainment. It wasn’t boredom. I’d have anxiety so bad it felt like I was coming out of my own skin I HAD to put some noise on around me to distract me from myself. What’s that about?! I was in a 12 step program … Continue reading Ahhh… the sound of silence
Thoughts, writings, social commentary, and some photography by David Mei. Warning intended for an adult audience if you are not the age of majority where you live, leave now.
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