My mother left my home to me in a trust. I have a lot of freedom within the trust to live where I want, sell the home and buy another home anywhere I want, and a variety of other things. She did not, however, give me any of the power to do take action on these things myself. She left me to live under a Trustee. Herein lies the actual problem!!!!
The issues of Trustee has been a burr in my side since the day she died. There was hurt and anger in my family based on her choice… from all involved. I’m the youngest of 5 children and the sole beneficiary. Mom set me up to be hated in the family more than I already was, but I know that wasn’t her intent.
I’ve had to go to court once to have my sibling removed as Trustee for failure to act putting the property in jeaopardy. It was ugly and the person who took their place has turned out to be almost worse. In different ways, anyhow. Isn’t there a saying, “The path to Hell is paved with good intentions”? I can’t, for the life of me, remember who said that.
So here I am, a couple years down the line and fighting this Trustee. I thanked him for his service and all the hard work he put in back in February letting him know I would be starting the process of changing the Trustee to my husband. At the time, he seemed ok with this. He told me it’s too much work and he doesn’t want that much responsibility anymore. That was until I called him a few weeks later with information from my lawyer and a request for him to relinquish the books and such to her office. The war was on in that moment.
He immediately started screaming at me and accusing me of trying to steal funds from my brothers. The list of insults was longer than my shapely long legs! He went into a fit because he has power, he gets to control and choose what happens and when, him this and him that. Eventually I hung up on him because he was being so childish and refused to be even remotely professional.
This was back in March. Now, here we are in August with burst pipes in my home and a Trustee who refuses to follow through on his legal obligations, despite fighting to retain the position, given an easy out. His delays set thing back enough that my attorney hasn’t been able to get us before a judge yet. At least now, I have a solid case against him and there will very likely be a legal course of action taken against him by the judge.
He has told lies about me, half truths, misappropriated funds, and now, he is failing to act in getting a plumber out to handle a burst pipe which resulted in flooding the bathroom three times in the matter of a few hours. He’s not been able to keep information straight despite hearing it multiple times from multiple people. Perhaps he doesn’t like what’s being said? He hasn’t been returning phone calls because he’s on vacation and it’s an imposition.
Eventually a person is going to snap! There have been so many incidents with this man that my ability to be polite and give him the benefit of the doubt was deteriorated to a point of nearly being unwilling to contact him regarding this issue at all. Now that I have, he’s proven me to be correct in his unwillingness to do the right thing.
Tonight, he called with another bunch of excuses and was hit with me telling him that everything he’s told me so far was wrong and I needed him to listen to what I have been trying to say. I got angry. I didn’t scream and yell. I got that serious tone of being so done that I was shaking and I told him I needed him to understand I was really angry at his failure to do his job, especially given his refusal to let it go. The man had the gall to ask if I wanted to continue the conversation. If he’d been standing in front of me, I would have thrown that man out of my home!!!
I finally said what I needed to say! He doesn’t get to end conversations with me because I’m expressing anger, displeasure or any emotion, so long as I do it appropriately. I have a valid concern in this situation! While he’s out romping through Oregon on vacation maybe checking his phone once a day with a full voicemail, I have no water in my home going into a second week now and I am dependant on HIM to deal with it!!! I advised him that there’s an email waiting for him detailing his failure to act that has been sent to my attorney and my husband, the future Trustee. We set a definite time to talk tomorrow morning when he should have good cell reception and be ready to handle these affairs.
I said the last of the personal things I will ever say to him. In essence, I told him that he’s not a good man and I will never have another kind word for or about him again after his time in this position. He has dishonored my mother’s wishes, her memory and harmed, not only me, but my family. On that note, I told him I wanted nothing to do with him in any aspect once this is complete.
Should he not follow through, my lawyer is already on alert that he likely will not, as he has a pattern of such behavior and I’m already suing him.
I’m a kind, gentle person overall. I’m slow to anger. I don’t tolerate being bullied in the name of power and treated like a child. I have little patience for those who don’t hold their word and insist they are always right. I’m one to stand up for myself and speak the truth. It takes a long time and repeated offenses for me to reach a point of losing all respect for someone and being willing to take serious legal action against them. Once again, I have been pushed too far.
I hired a pittbull of an attorney because I’m tired of people walking on me and trying to tell me it’s their perogative. She will fight for me once again in a way that is more meaningful than my words and being cut out of my life forever. She will stand up for me and say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!
4 thoughts on “Enough is enough!!!”
My mother in law made a weird, uneven division before she passed too, and left 1 brother in charge of another. We’re stuck in the middle. The brother she left in charge is literally stealing from the other, and everyone wants us to act. But we don’t have any legal course at all, no rights. We’re just the people she have left because we would have been honest.
I can’t imagine how hard it is to be in their (the parent who is passing and making these decisions) position either. I don’t think they understand how much stress they just placed on the relationship of those involved.
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I’m so sorry!!! I imagine it’s really hard to watch. If the brother who’s being stolen from is willing to fight there are a million kinds of legal assistance he can get. Help him get in touch with an estate or trust attorney. Also, if he’s disabled and that’s the reason for the situation, report it to the state. There are special protections and such for those who are disabled, mentally ill, not able to handle their affairs for whatever reason. The punishment for the crimes is much swifter and the process is faster. I’ve had to refer a few clients over the years to get assistance in cases like this. It’s so sad!!!! I imagine that my mother is rolling over in her grave watching all the problems this trust has caused. I’m grateful I’m strong enough and well enough to seek help.
It is a lot like that! He is on social security, but he also had a drug addiction, which makes it harder, and the funds weren’t set up correctly.
Your situation sounds horrible with all the fighting, but at least there’s a legal document to turn back on. This situation is mostly verbal and too loose.
I hope your attorney gets everything clear for you!
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Thanks! Hoping the same for your BIL. That’s REALLY rough!!! Mine’s a fight, but I have a strong husband to stand with me through it and get things done. Makes it that much easier. ♥ Now I get to have milkshakes out with my bestie. Milkshakes make everything better!!! 😉 Enjoy your Saturday night! Hope your healing well and pain is under control.
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