Feminist submissive

i am both a staunch feminist and 100% submissive to my Husband. Many assume it’s an oxymoron, though it’s not at all. Sadly many miss the underlying desire of all women is to have choices. More than anything, that’s what my mother fought for in the 1960’s. Equality as woman has much less to do with whether she works or not, how much money she makes and the type of relationship she has than it does having the ability to choose these things.

My mom was 38 when i was born. She was married at 18 in 1952 and had her first child in 1953. She was the epitome of the 1950’s housewife. Working was not an option. Birth control was unavailable. She couldn’t have a bank account of her own or a credit card even if she did work. Her husband was head of the household merely by the sheer luck of being born male. Where she lived, when they moved, the car they drove and right on down the line were choices she had little to no say in. This was a decided upon agreement. It was social contract of that generation.

After divorcing her first husband in the mid 1960’s she was among the throngs of women who fought for Roe vs Wade, women’s rights and equality. She challenged banks to deny her a bank account when she worked full time. She became the epitome of an independent, hard working woman. My mom was the poster child for all the things feminism stands for. She also remarried and chose to be a stay at home mom. Meals were ready before my dad got up for work and were on the table when he got home. She shaped her life around the new set of rules and options she had while maintaining parts of her service oriented training as a wife and mother. She had choices!!!

This scene from Mona Lisa Smile is one of my all time favorites!! Julia Roberts is a college professor and wants to change the world for women. Equality! Work! Options! Julia Stiles reminds her that opting to be housewife and mother do not make her any less smart or successful. This scene sums up the CHOICES of feminism in a nutshell to me.

As a woman, I’ve worked nearly all of my adult life. I had my first job at 14. I’ve fought sexual harassment in the work place and seen my male counterparts in jobs get promotions and raises the women did not. I personally didn’t march with a pussyhat on my head, but I was 100% behind those who did…. many of them my friends!! I support the right to choose and access to birth control. Restricting a woman’s choice of career options based on her gender is wholly wrong!! Having special accommodations for women based on gender is also needed in some cases. A woman should not have to choose her career over children, or vice versa. We also have periods each and every month which can impact some activities for a day or two. These things do not affect our performance. Women are the super glue of our world and should be respected as such and given every opportunity to thrive and work their magic.

I have the ability to be sexually submissive without the full D/s dynamic. It’s more less what all of my long term relationships have looked like prior to Daddy. I maintained all of my independence. I was the typical equal woman… everything 50/50, the way it “should be”.

Exploring my sexuality was part of my feminism. I have no issue with the word slut. It’s one I use for myself at times. I have no hang ups about promiscuity or being adventurous. I don’t judge other women for those things either so long as there’s honesty in what we do. Call it what it is, don’t pussy foot around it. My sexual adventures led me to D/s relationships, exploring my kinks and finding my truest submissive nature. It was the freedom I have as woman in the 21st century to explore my options which brought me to a new choice in my feminism.

Being submissive to my Daddy in a very traditional 1950’s household way came about through hours and hours of conversation about wants, needs, expectations and negotiating the ins and outs of making it practical. There is no element of this lifestyle which wasn’t discussed prior to going into a 24/7 submissive relationship with traditional gender roles. I am naturally submissive and tend to be fairly docile in my romantic relationships, though what allowed me to go to this depth was talking about it, having the full understanding that He not only loves me, but respects me as His equal on the human level. He appreciates my thoughts and experience. His dominance over me is to a large degree, honoring and taking care of me the best way He can. He leads, I follow. There is balance even within the imbalance of power. my submission is a gift to Him… just as His dominance is a gift to me.

Feminism is so much more than political and financial equality just as submission is so much more than sex.

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