As most of my readers know, I live in Northern California. My area has been struck with horrific wildfires 3 years running. We’re in the midst of a heatwave so bad that we’ve been on a red flag fire warning several days now. I have some PTSD from the fires and being evacuated with the fear or losing my home, life and all that goes with uncontained wildfires ravaging your area. Today we got an alert on TV that a part of our county was under suggested evacuation orders. I didn’t hear the specific location due to fear. I’m not in immediate danger and the fires are quite distant. Within 5 minutes Daddy and I had evacuation bags packed and ready to go.

I called my neighbor to ask if he knew and was prepared. That’s when I got the specific info of where and we’re not in danger. The fall started. If you have anxiety and/or panic attacks you know this well. The emotional collapse which ensues following perceived threat.

I tried so hard to be big and work through it. Distraction usually helps. This one was more than I could do. After about half an hour of being near tears and feeling seriously out of control inside, I went and climbed in Daddy’s arms. He knew it was coming. The tears flowed and I started to feel better. He held me for about 5 minutes and I was ready to get up again. Took a while for me to fully feel safe again.

I read a post earlier by a Dom stating that kinky/BDSM relationships are more drama filled. I was thinking about this as I was packing a box of tupperware for the kitchen remodel. Great distraction to keep myself on target with anxiety management. See where I’m going with this? I’m a little with PTSD and anxiety and the occasional mood swing. Littles are more work than your typical sub. We’re loving, doting, fun creatures with sensitive hearts which require a ton of attention and reassurance. Not bad at all. Loving a little is a gift! Adding mental health challenges to that is difficult for both partners. I wouldn’t call it drama. I’d say it’s extra layers of work for both partners and the Daddy/Mommy needs to pick up way more slack to help the little deal.

Daddy and I were long distance before He moved out here to be with me. For the most part it was fantastic. As a little, I need a ton of attention and it’s hard to get enough long distance. Life happens and anxiety and everything else strikes. Dealing with it while Daddy was far away was more challenging. We argued sometimes because He wanted and needed to help but couldn’t and I needed Him to.

As a little with anxiety, I needed to curl up in Daddy’s arms to settle down and make the world feel safe again. I needed His reassurance that He’ll always love me and be here to take care of me. Had He not been available to give me the love and security I needed in some form, the emotional fall out on my part would be major drama. There are times when my level of need is hard on Him. He gets tired and needs to recharge. He’s not tired of me or loving me. On a daily basis I thank Him for all He does and make sure to dote on Him and ease the stress for Him as much as possible. It balances out in the end.