The Move: Anticipation

I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed about this upcoming move. I’m anticipating this huge, life changing event a few months down the road with little I can really do right now that will make a difference. It’s creating anxiety. My control issues are coming out in full force. I don’t deal well with ambiguity and waiting is the hardest thing in the world for me. Anticipation is a true double edged sword in my world… excitement and anxiety when it’s something this big.

I’m worried about money to handle all the move up until the sale of this house closes. I’m worried about where exactly we’re going to live. Are we going to buy a house on contingency or get back east and buy then? I have no idea what percentage of the proceeds of the sale I’ll get through the settlement with my brothers. Lots and lots of unknowns and right now all of them are out of my control.

Daddy and I have an active savings plan on top of cutting corners so we’ll be OK. Financial fears are the absolute worst for me. Thanks, Mom!

Tonight I’m feeling the stress of packing up our entire home. With Daddy’s work hours, the reality of Him being able to help very much is extremely limited. I did it before all by myself when I moved into this house.

One of my anxiety catches is looking at the whole thing rather than breaking it into pieces and remembering that I have time. That’s why I’m writing right now. Get out of my head and back into my logical mind where I can calm myself down and actually move forward.

The feelings came on really suddenly tonight. I haven’t thought about moving or packing or anything all day. Then BAM! It just happens to coincide with getting the car back from the shop this afternoon with a $1,000 repair bill and the discussion Daddy and I had immediately following about putting new tires on the car tomorrow. Another $500-$600. Financial fear, anyone? lol Daddy panicked about the repairs all week as He Ubered to and from work while I was calm and grateful we have the money to make them. My anxiety came after in the form of freaking out about managing this epic cross country move. I’m blessed with insight. LOL

Two really fruitful things came out of my anxiety. Daddy and I finally voiced that driving cross country with the dogs would be Hell on all four of us. Yay!! Easiest decision we’ve made!!! ♥ *giggles* The other was doing a bit of research on shipping the car. From California to New Hampshire we’re looking at a little over $1,700. Far cheaper than driving!!

Perhaps tomorrow after the tires I’ll find a small project moving related to feel like I’ve done something productive. They all add up. lol

Thanks for reading. I’m all calm now and feel the joy of this new adventure in our lives.

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