The last couple of weeks have been incredibly hard!! On top of our home being in a constant state of disarray with the struggle of getting the kitchen put in after the water main burst back in July, fights and struggles with the trustee on my house…. we were evacuated for nearly a week with the threat of losing our home and everything we own. … Continue reading Love & Marriage
Every couple has that one fight they have over and over. OK… not all, but many. Ours came up again tonight. I’m not going to get into the details because, frankly, they don’t matter. What matters is that I’m really hurt. I’m sitting here seriously contemplating if my husband and I should stay married. The issue which comes up is huge and really painful. I … Continue reading Marriage is hard work!
Gotta say, it’s been a Hell of a day!!! I woke up in such a good mood this morning. Things felt manageable and like life was going back to normal. Then I got out of bed. LMAO Well… not that fast, pretty damn quickly things shifted really bad. After a few hours, I’m pretty much back on track to things feeling ok again. I haven’t … Continue reading I married a Saint! St. Stephen of grouchy kittens.
I slept well last night. Two nights in a row. Was so very needed!!!! I didn’t sleep at all for the first couple days we were displaced. Adrenaline kicked in and kept me going. Not in that hyper way, just my body wasn’t able to slow down and rest. Certainly not sleep. A state of constant fight or flight, I guess. I woke up just … Continue reading Emotional Roller Coaster
“Fools’ names & faces appear in public places” is a saying I grew up hearing from my mother. The saying has many good lessons in it. In my family, there was also an often spoken message of don’t try, because you may fail and make a fool of yourself. The whole message became nicely wrapped up in this little phrase. Good and bad connotations alike. … Continue reading Self-Esteem & Negative Feedback
I spent 15 years of my life working in social rehabilation programs with individuals carrying mental health diagnoses which are deemed major and persistent. Schizophrenia, Bipolar D/O, Personality disorders to name a few. The idea with these diagnoses is that they never go away. It’s a lifelong illness. The goal of social rehabilitation is to help those of us with such mental illnesses live the … Continue reading Mental Illness Isn’t Who You Are!!
It’s been a month and almost a week since my house went BOOM. Hot water pipe burst in the slab under the house. We went just a day or two under a month with no water in the house. In and out of hotels as we dealt with insurance. The struggle to get a plumber in. Now that the plumbing is done, the house is … Continue reading Unmanageable
The world has felt big and chaotic for too long now. i’ve been forced into being Big far too often and for too long. It wears me down. Last night, Daddy came to sit next to me on the sofa and i curled up in His arms. i needed Him, i needed to be little… i needed to ask Him to help me manage the … Continue reading Relying on Daddy
Growing up in the family I did, boundaries were essentially non-existent. At least mine weren’t. I wasn’t allowed to speak for myself. My thoughts and feelings were deemed unimportant or outright wrong. I remember my mom and older brother deciding for me that I wasn’t going to a 4 year college right out high school as I sat there listening to them decide my life … Continue reading Boundaries
Today was the first time in ages that things have felt “normal”. Stress was lower, despite seeing our home in absolute ruins and being woken up to a fire alarm. Daddy took me to lunch at one of our favorite spots. Ruffi sat quietly at our feet as we chatted about regular life stuff eating pizza, roast beef sandwiches, the best chicken tenders ever and … Continue reading Emotional tonight…