"I'm not responsible for how you feel"

I walked around for years and years saying this to others and letting others off the hook for being hurtful. I don’t remember the circumstances any longer, they don’t matter, but I do recall the conversation about this saying not being totally true. I told my supervisor that my feelings were hurt by something someone said or did followed by “I’m responsible for how I … Continue reading "I'm not responsible for how you feel"

Just STOP!!!!

Jack Collier @ https://jackcollier7.com/2019/11/10/not-so-well/ has been unwilling to acknowledge my boundaries which have been clearly laid out on numerous occasions that I am MARRIED, have a solid marriage and want no contact with him on any level due to his refusal or inability to follow my boundaries. He’s been told by my husband to stop interacting with me and leave me alone. Today, he made … Continue reading Just STOP!!!!

Marriage is hard work!

Every couple has that one fight they have over and over. OK… not all, but many. Ours came up again tonight. I’m not going to get into the details because, frankly, they don’t matter. What matters is that I’m really hurt. I’m sitting here seriously contemplating if my husband and I should stay married. The issue which comes up is huge and really painful. I … Continue reading Marriage is hard work!

Ex’s are ex’s for a reason!

When I first joined Facebook I did what everyone did…. look up old friends, classmates, exs, co-workers, distant relatives. Curiosity. Hey, I wonder whatever happened to (blank)? I stumbled across my very first boyfriend. Let’s call him, Todd. He gave me a paragraph update on his life. Brief, polite. Ending with “My wife and I don’t allow friends with ex’s in our relationship”. I was … Continue reading Ex’s are ex’s for a reason!

Family Isn’t About Blood

This is a topic near and dear to my heart. I happen to come from an extremely dysfunctional family. Alcoholism, drug addiction, every form of abuse, generations of divorce, and mental illness run through all lines of my family tree. I’m the second generation to cut all ties with my family because they’re not good for me. My mom was the first. She taught me … Continue reading Family Isn’t About Blood

Gentle Reminder of Boundaries

Hello friends 🙂 It’s been a while since I’ve written an update on our home. Today, 41 days after the hot water pipe burst in the slab under the house, all of our walls are in tact… painted… and wait for it… the downstairs bathroom is fully functional. More work to be done… quite a bit more, but it feels hopeful and manageable. Yesterday I … Continue reading Gentle Reminder of Boundaries

Boundaries

Growing up in the family I did, boundaries were essentially non-existent. At least mine weren’t. I wasn’t allowed to speak for myself. My thoughts and feelings were deemed unimportant or outright wrong. I remember my mom and older brother deciding for me that I wasn’t going to a 4 year college right out high school as I sat there listening to them decide my life … Continue reading Boundaries

Safety: Walking the Line

My few minutes on Facebook today revealed a story of a woman walking her dog and having a creepy guy hug her nonconsensually and follow her home with some inappropriate questions about where she lives and with whom. The point of her story was telling men that if a woman is cold or rude it’s a safety precaution. Sadly enough, it’s a fact that things … Continue reading Safety: Walking the Line