I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed about this upcoming move. I’m anticipating this huge, life changing event a few months down the road with little I can really do right now that will make a difference. It’s creating anxiety. My control issues are coming out in full force. I don’t deal well with ambiguity and waiting is the hardest thing in the world for me. Anticipation … Continue reading The Move: Anticipation
Late last week Daddy got an email from the sex addiction therapist asking if i’m interested in their partner support group. i jumped on it! Today is my intake assessment. We have our first session together next week. i’m getting nervous. Going through the intake paperwork and the symptom checklist was hard. Daddy and i are moving forward in a really positive way. i know … Continue reading Intake Assessment
I tried going to be with Daddy a couple hours ago. Rather than toss and turn, keeping him up and making us both miserable, I got up. Sleep will come when it comes. One of the beautiful things about no longer following someone else’s time frame. 😉 I used to get frustrated with my mom when she’d tell me to do this. Nearly impossible to … Continue reading Wide Eyed & Bushy Tailed
i am an introvert of epic proportions. i love people, chatting, entertaining and all the like. i just can’t do it in large quantities. i need multiple hours a day of quiet time in order to recharge. i may be listening to music, cleaning, scrubbing the house, blogging, napping, gaming, running on the treadmill at the gym. The list of what is “quiet” and relaxing … Continue reading Tired vs Over-stimulated
There has been a slew of things happen in the last 8+ months that just add to the feeling of things being out of control. Each one worse than the last. The mounting stress is killing both of us. For the moment, I can only speak for myself. It’s my moment of clarity after all. This isn’t the first time in my life that I’ve … Continue reading Moment of Clarity
Daddy falls into the category of mandatory workers here in California. i always had those jobs, too. It never occurred to me that hotels would have to stay open in the midst of crisis. To me, hotels are for travel and fun. NO ONE should be traveling these days. Alas, my thinking is wrong. 2 hours and counting until Daddy heads back out into this … Continue reading Mandatory Workers
There was a time in my life that I couldn’t stand sitting quiet. No talking, tv, radio, or outside source of entertainment. It wasn’t boredom. I’d have anxiety so bad it felt like I was coming out of my own skin I HAD to put some noise on around me to distract me from myself. What’s that about?! I was in a 12 step program … Continue reading Ahhh… the sound of silence
The day is here. my brothers are coming to our home today to look at what needs to be done to get the house ready for sale. i haven’t seen any member of my family is nearly 6 years. So many reasons for that. Phone calls have been rough, as i’ve written about in the last few weeks. my heart is in my throat and … Continue reading Family & Anxiety
I’m sitting here in Daddy’s big chair sipping a cup of yummy Vermont Maple Tea with Almond Milk watching Counting Cars. The pups are napping. At the moment, all is ok in the world. By all outward signs… things are ok. On the inside, my heart is pounding and my blood pressure is through the roof. All the stress and worry thoughts humanly possible right … Continue reading Outrageous Anxiety
PG&E turned off our electricity Tuesday night. Everyone in the area went into a panic buying cases of water, fire wood and non-perishable foods. Our community still has not healed from the 2017 Wildfires that took our county by storm claiming 17,500 homes in a matter of days. Most of them in the first few hours. Honestly, I’m not sure we will ever fully recover … Continue reading Electricy Shut Off
Thoughts, writings, social commentary, and some photography by David Mei. Warning intended for an adult audience if you are not the age of majority where you live, leave now.
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