Did my title get your attention? If it didn’t… read on. I’ll give you reason to read. I had a rough ending to a friendship a year ago. I’d finally broken out of my chains of being an ugly, fat girl and was delighting in the attention based on my looks for the first time in my life. Yes, I’m sexy and I know it!!! … Continue reading Mean Fat Girls
I’ve watched the numbers on the scale go up slowly for the last few month. At first I blamed the gluten. I wasn’t willing to look at how my portions have increased and how I’m eating whatever whenever. I haven’t done this in years. I mean like a decade!!! When Daddy and I went hiking on Monday and I saw the pictures of myself…. my … Continue reading Struggling with myself
I grew up hearing the phrase, “If you have to work too hard, it’s not meant to be.” My mom used this saying often about life choices indicating I was going down the wrong path. One day she told me that my father told her, “It shouldn’t be this much work to love each other!” No truer words have been spoken. I think of his … Continue reading Friendship
The first AA meeting I remember going to was with my mom when I was about 5. I’m sure there were others when I was younger. My mom went through the backdoor of AA into Al-Anon, but spent quite a number of years in AA first. She went to AA because she didn’t know about Al-Anon and she was married to a raging alcoholic in … Continue reading Hi, I’m kitten, NOT an alcoholic.
I’m a California girl. Born and raised, 2nd generation. I’ve lived within 100 miles of San Francisco my entire life. I’ve traveled minimally. Not for lack of want, but life just hasn’t taken me that direction. I’ve had 2 opportunities in my life to pick up and go anywhere I want. Do what I want. Both times I did what I thought I was supposed … Continue reading Far Away
I grew up in a family where feelings were more than frowned upon. Don’t show too much of anything. I was taught to stay in this narrow emotional zone. In the clinical world, we call that having a restricted affect. It took me many, many years to break free from that insane restriction on what and how much I was “allowed” to feel (and show). … Continue reading The Beauty of Emotions
Everything came crashing in tonight. Details I didn’t know. More lies. I stooped to a level of hurt and lashing out which is so far below me I can’t hardly put words to it. I ranted in obscenities to his ex-girlfriend for reaching out to him when the first Facebook humiliation episode went down and for hurting him and leaving me with the pieces to … Continue reading I took my ring off
Relationships are hard! Damn they’re hard! The good ones are the ones where the good days outweigh the ones that are a struggle. I ranted earlier about Facebook. Truth be told, the rant wasn’t about the comments themselves or even social media at large. The rant was pent up anger at my husband for unresolved hurts triggered once again by a similar situation. There were … Continue reading Marriage is Hard Work!
My mom was old school. I always heard about being a “good girl”, the kind of girl a boy takes home to his mother and marries. She told me over and over that I’m not “that kind of girl” inferring that I’m not a slut. Deeper behind that was that I was supposed to hide my sexuality and refrain from any outward appearance of being … Continue reading What’s wrong with being a slut?
Just two years ago I was struggling to get out of a very bad marriage. Papers were filed and the divorce was due to be final in a few weeks. He was gone, no contact… letting go wasn’t so easy. Abuse is insidious. You don’t see it coming. Then you’re trapped in a relationship you never dreamed you’d be in. Every part of me was … Continue reading How thing change