I was 18 or 19 when I realized that I’m a little. I didn’t have that word or an understand of what it would all mean for me. I just knew there’s a part of me that would never grow up. Men have recognized it in me for as long as I can remember. I was about 23 the first time a man called me his little girl. I was drawn into the world of BDSM very early, though only introduced to the safe practices and finding my way about 7 years ago.
I’ve always regressed, so being a little was nothing new. It’s part of my charm and what attracts men to me. I know this now. It’s also one of the things which has been used against me when relationships were failing. I get it! It’s fun and sexy and romantic to have a little when things are easy, but it’s not so fun when we’re needy and hurt and unable to process on an adult level all the time. Ahh… the joys of being in kinky dynamics without both parties having full awareness and consent of what’s going on.
It was in the years between my ex-husband and meeting Daddy that I found the breadth and scope of my kinks as a little, plus a few more areas. I discovered that I’m not just a little, but I actually need to a have a partner that will protect and take care of me on an emotional level. I further started dipping my toe into age play. It wasn’t the first time, but I wasn’t ready before and I was when it happened that time. I’ve discovered over time that age play is among my top kinks. There are a million twists and turns you can make with age play making it so much fun!
I’m not going to tell you the process of identifying as a little was easy or smooth. I had a ton of shame. Those women that look at me and Daddy with nasty glares when we’re out? Well, I shared those same feelings of disgust before I found myself needing to be part of that dynamic. I was extremely confused the first time I had the desire to call a man Daddy during sex. I was exhilarating, freeing and shameful all at the same time. Took me a couple months to work through that.
Admitting that I like age play was far harder. Age play is being in an adult headspace and roleplaying sexual scenarios between an adult and a minor. This is a kink totally different from being little or even being a sexual little. I enjoy riding the edge of taboos and finding new limits. It’s a thrill. Based on the content of age play, I have strong boundaries which I cannot and will not touch. I don’t engage in incest fantasies or being younger than a teenager. Those are my limits. A key differentiating fact for me is being totally in an adult headspace. Because I am engaging in kinky acts pretending to be younger does not mean I will automatically slip into a middle space.
I am a sexual babygirl. I have two general age ranges which I regress to: 5-8 and 13-15. It’s extremely rare that I am sexual at the younger end. All of my kinks disappear, I am cuddly, vulnerable and just want Daddy to love me and be very, very gentle. On the contrary, I am always sexual in middle space. Many kinks live in this space! I don’t have shame or stigma associated with being sexual in this headspace because it’s part of who I am. It’s not necessarily a kink, though I play within my kinks while in this space.
The exploration of my sexuality has been incredibly fun!! I’ve learned about myself. There has been laughter, tears, shame, guilt, and many, many orgasms and so much joy. I wouldn’t change the journey at all. That’s a lie! I would have found the BDSM community sooner. It wasn’t for lack of invitation by many!