Staying Put

If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time you know that we’ve been plagued by issues with our house for about 2 years now. Bad trustee, struggle with lawyers to deal with trustee, water main burst, flooding, battling the insurance company, no kitchen for over a year, no floors, no baseboards…. the list goes on and on. It felt undoable and never ending. When things came together enough we decided to sell the house and get the Hell out of dodge and start again where there are no problems!

I’ve been watching the house and yards come together. I’ve been putting the love and effort in that makes a house feel like a home in order to sell it. I’ve made plans for carpeting to be installed throughout and repainted areas that were messed up in the kitchen reno. I’ve been quietly thinking that I don’t really want to leave. The house is finally coming together. Yet I still had the desire and excitement of moving and starting over again.

A few days ago Mt. Vasuvious blew in our house. Maybe not that bad. lol I’d been holding major resentments against Daddy for not helping me get things done. I’d bought all the boxes, packed them all, made all of the plans and the list goes on. I watched the dipping into our moving and house fund dwindle it to the point of it not being possible to make the move on our timeline. That was the final straw! One of my qualities is that I don’t say stuff just to be mean. I may not say it nicely, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not 100% true. The lid came off and it turns out neither of us had been communicating well around this whole thing and few underlying issues playing into it. Good lord, I’m so much like my mother it’s not funny at times!!

Honestly, I knew it was coming when I wrote that glowing, grandiose post about the move and the trailer. This is a pattern with me. I get this last ditch effort to hold onto denial before I blow over whatever “it” is. It’s always the last stage before I can’t hold onto a resentment any longer. I don’t want to get into analyzing this process right now!! lol

What came out of all this is an honest conversation about worries, stresses, needs, feelings, responsiblities and expectations. We needed to talk about things again and went the route of trying to run away rather than deal with what we had going on here. Pulling a geographic never works! lol

So, we’re staying here in California in our townhouse. Putting in the work and effort to get it back to what it was before disaster struck. Stepping up our game on keeping things running smoothly and communicating better. Daddy needs to get back home to Massachusetts, but visiting meets those needs. A changed goal from moving and buying a house to buying my brothers out for next to nothing.

I feel like a zillion tons of stress have been lifted off my shoulders. We both do! lol

4 thoughts on “Staying Put

  1. I am so glad that the two of you were able to really communicate…it sounds like you were having many of the same stressors! I also think it is incredibly self-reflective to note how you made a “last ditch effort”…. I think many of us do this and fail to recognize it for what it is. Sending lots of love to you and your Daddy!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Enough time has passed that I can laugh at memories of our time in a home where plaster dust had coated everything, the kitchen and bathroom were down to the studs and the contractor (and our money) were nowhere to be found. I’m glad you’ve found peace with the situation and are in a place to mentally move forward.

    Liked by 1 person

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