My Naughty List

I read a fun post somewhere on the internet about the naughty things people did. The comments were awesome. I’m going to run with the idea and tell on myself. *giggles* Enjoy!! I’d love to see other peoples lists, too.

  • When I was 4 I got really mad at my mom for something and broke her hair stick in half right in front of her.
  • When I was 8 I was mad at my mom (again). It was so bad I stood there stuttering thinking of the worst thing I could possibly say to her or call her. The best thing I could come up with was the “N” word. She laughed at me. It broke the tension and I’ve never called anyone that since.
  • I dug a latrine in my backyard so I didn’t have to go inside to go potty. I think I was about 6? I used it.
  • I used to have sleep overs with my best friend and “read” books in bed. Our reading was saying all the naughy words we knew non-stop at our tender ages of 4 and 6. (I was the younger.)
  • I used to take my friends in the closet of my bedroom and bare bottom spank them hoping my mom didn’t walk in. LOL Funny, they were boys. 😉 I can’t believe they went along with it?! LMAO
  • Chinese jump rope was all the rage when I was about 9. My neighbor had a paper route. I used to steal her rubber bands to make my jump ropes with. I lied to her face when she knocked on my door and called me on it.
  • I started drinking at 15. Parties at my house when Mom was out of town. Many a drunken weekend with my friends that my mom had no idea about. A few episodes of drunk driving in high school, too.
  • I cut so much school my senior year I almost didn’t graduate. I didn’t go to one class at all the entire year except to take the final. The teacher’s jaw dropped when I walked in. LOL
  • I sofa surfed at a drug dealer’s house when I was homeless at 18.
  • I’ve experimented with quite a few drugs only to find that I hate them all. It only took once or twice for each one.
  • I keep a few really bad insults in the holster for special occasions. I’ve used the worst one and don’t think I’ll have occasion to ever use it again. At least I hope not!!
  • I cheated on my second husband.
  • I had a threesome with my friend and one of her boytoys after a night of partying really hard.
  • I got high at a party with hubby #2 and told him I’d like to fuck his friend hosting the party. He was mad at me for quite some time. Inhibition isn’t always a good thing! lol
  • I searched through my mom’s drawers and found her toys and Adam & Eve catalogs. I stole the catalogs and showed all my friends her toys.
  • I ghosted and blocked a potential sub I’d been talking to after our first video chat.
  • I ate 2 pounds of See’s chocolates Daddy and I ordered to share around Valentine’s Day. I think He got a couple pieces….
  • I talked my friend into taking an OTC diuretic pill at lunch one day. She peed the entire rest of the day!! I was 17. I didn’t totally know better.
  • I’ve always had a sick and twisted sense of humor. Fortunately my mom was on board most of the time! When our cat died we wrapped him in the best towel so he’d be snuggled and loved then took him down to be cremated with a $20 check stuck in the depository box with him. I told my mom when she died I’d wrap her up in our best blanket before stuffing her in a box with a check for $100. LMAO We never laughed so hard as that day!! It was funny for decades. Yes, everyone else was horrified at this humor. This is a naughty list afterall!!!
  • I worked in a video store in high school. There were a few boys that teased the ever loving hell out of me. To get even I checked out the nastiest porn videos to their accounts so they’d get late charges and calls about them. After a day or so I panicked and took it off. The angel on my right shoulder won out over the little devil on the other one.
  • I’ve had more than a few one night stands and booty calls.
  • My first husband was my first lover. He introduced me to kink right off the bat. The first thing I knew I liked was being watched and having someone in the room masturbating watching us have sex. There was also a fair number of times we had sex in the same room with other couples having sex. Ahhh… the good old day. *giggles* We never swapped partners or had orgies, but the thrill of watching others have sex while we did was hot AF.
  • I talked to a Master in England for a while when I was 25 or 26. I sent him lots and lots of naughty pictures. I always dressed up for our sexy phone calls and got caught by a family friend one day. He knocked on the door incessantly because he heard me in the house. No choice but to answer. I was wrapped in pink plastic wrap with my hair pinned up and hooker makeup on. Yeah…we never talked about it.
  • I was 19 or so and working swing shifts for a security agency. I was posted in a parking lot in a little booth for hours and hours without any activity. I masturbated right there in the booth.

I think that’s enough for now!!!! LOL My list of naughty stuff is quite long if I were to list it all. Not everything is shareable!! Not as sweet as I look. I realize how much I’ve mellowed as I get older. Now hitting Daddy with a rolled up newspaper is the most exciting part of my naughtiness.

8 thoughts on “My Naughty List

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