Collaring and ownership mean different things to different people. Every dynamic is different! i’ll start by telling you what it means to me and what it looks like in my relationship with Daddy.
When i first entered the lifestyle i was taught that collaring a sub was the same level commitment as getting married. It’s a long term, serious commitment and not to be jumped into. This resonated with me and i’ve held onto this meaning. Daddy claimed me before we were married. i accepted the commitment. i am Daddy’s wife, but i am His sub first. ♥ Yes, this is a point of pride for me!
For me, ownership goes hand-in-hand with collaring. i have committed to obey Daddy and follow His lead in our life together. He has committed to protect and take care of me in all ways. i have given up much of my autonomy in choosing to be owned by Him. We have negotiated some things which i maintain total control over, but they are few. He opts not to exercise control in many areas, but that doesn’t mean that He can’t and i wouldn’t follow His decision.
The important part of being owned and collared for me aren’t the logistics of it, but how it makes me feel. i’m not alone. Daddy is my anchor in the storm and He’ll never go anywhere. He protects me from the boogy man in the closet and the real threats in the world. He has my best interest at heart all the time. i am always loved and cherished. He has committed to take care of me no matter what. i am more than His wife or girlfriend. i am His property… His most cherished possession. There is something about this which is more special than any other commitment there is. You don’t let your most prized possession rust or break… you care for it with the utmost of attention. Yep… that’s me. ♥ In turn, i love, obey and take care of Daddy in the corresponding ways. He’s MY Daddy… my best thing ever.
Ownership with Daddy is a beautiful thing. It’s comforting and safe. Before Daddy the idea didn’t sit well with me. Like many others, i am a domestic violence survior. The mere idea of giving up my autonomy and control was really frightening and i fought against it because i didn’t feel safe. This is a topic i hear often. Possessiveness isn’t always a good thing, but when done right is the best feeling in the world.
Daddy opts not to have me wear a collar all the time. In actuality, it’s really rare that He puts my formal collar on and even more rare that He locks it. Early on in our dynamic we discussed collaring and feel that it’s a nice outward expression from time-to-time, but not important. i wear His collar in my heart and it’s always there whether it’s visible or not. The joy of wearing His collar is amplified by the fact that it’s not all the time. It’s a special treat for both of us.
Like i started out saying, each and every dynamic is different. Collaring and ownership means different things to different people. i know some who would never wear a locking leather collar like the one i have on in the picture above in public. Others who don’t want to be owned and collared ever. Some who would never be without a collar of some kind. Those who would never dream of wearing a collar. Ownership to some implies slavery. The one truism is there is no right or wrong way to do it.