Judgment Goes Both Ways

Taken at Pier 39, San Francisco last week. That’s Alcatraz in the background.

Anyone who reads my blog knows that Daddy and I love fur. No shame here or guilty pleasure status. It’s one of those things we both take pleasure in looking at, wearing and owning. It passes into our kink list as well.

I have a handful of real fur pieces which delight me to no end and I wear them on the rare occasions it’s cold enough. Going to San Francisco in March was one of those. We had a fantastic time, by the way.

Judgment comes in many forms. The most common is the attitude that I’m an awful human being for wearing fur. These statements usually come from soneone wearing leather shoes, a leather belt and carrying a gorgeous lether handbag. The irony never escapes me.

Daddy and I were peering in the window of a modern art gallery marveling at the creativity when some woman with 3 teenagers walked by and snarked to her kids about my jacket. The comments were along the lines of me showing off that I have more money than I know what to do with.

I turned around quickly looking at the family. The mom was far too young have 3 kids those ages. She started young! Everything about the family told me that they were struggling a bit. Yet each member of the family was wearing several hundred dollar name brand tennis shoes.

She looked at me assuming that I’m wealthy and showing off. I looked at her and saw a single mom that made poor life choices starting way too young and spending her money poorly. Fact of the matter is that neither of us know the truth about the other.

Judgments and assumptions are fun like that. We jump to conclusions about other people based on our ideals and values. Obviously, we both saw the other as less than desireable at first glance. Both of us were quick to judge.

I wear what makes me happy. We worked hard to get our jackets. I’m immensely proud of that fur jacket each and every time I wear it. Yes, wearing fur makes me a moving target for judgment. I’m well aware. I hope that in the future when I hear comments like that I can take them in stride and just smile rather than mentally defend my choices and judge those making the comments. I handled the situation with dignity and grace… now to get my thoughts there, too.

9 thoughts on “Judgment Goes Both Ways

  1. What a great story. It reminded me that when I was much younger, when my oldest daughter was 9 or 10, I had a 3/4 length mink that my mother had given me. I’d wear it when it was really cold. I’d wear it to the grocey. Now, we didn’t actually have any money – pretty much living paycheck to paycheck. But there I was in my mink. My daugher would get all freaked out. “Someone’s gonna throw blood on you if you wear that!” she’d say. “PETA’s gonna see you and throw blood on you.” And I’d just laugh. “Baby,” I’d say, “Nobody is coming this neighborhood looking for women in furs. I promise you, we’re perfectly safe.” And no one did bat an eye – everyone assumed it was fake.

    Thanks for sharing your story!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I just love your picture. Fur? Go for it. When I was married to Ex-wife #2, we visited a friend in New York and he had Ex#2 wear his mother’s fur on a particularly cold February night. She was most impressed, although she never got a fur.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. When we have been in colder climates – Scandinavia and in parts of lands that were in the arctic circle, use of animal furs and hides was much more common, and it seemed more kinda appropriate because the winter temperatures were incredibly cold. I don’t know much about how animals are kept/farmed, but I would hope that for the most part in those lands animals that are farmed for meat and fur are treated well during their lifetime. Although sadly in some cases, I do believe there are very cruel conditions that animals suffer.
    Part of me accepts that animals have been farmed for meat and other products for thousands of years – and most of that has been for practical uses. I guess what worries me is that in the past the fashion industry crossed a line and stopped caring about how animals were treated and just wanted to make profit. When fur is not used for it’s practical properties and is more about a fashion statement, or when people with money wanted to pursue rare and endangered species to wear their fur – there is something deeply concerning about fashion’s lack of responsibility.
    I think more and more people are just looking at the planet and the collective amount of damage that humans have done and are shifting towards doing whatever they can to combat that. In the UK there are more and more people going vegan, giving up their cars or switching to electric cars, just doing whatever they can to cut their carbon footprint and only take what they need from the planet. But everyone makes personal decisions.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The movement is prominent here in California, too. I refuse to support the faux fur industry because the materials used are really harmful for the planet. I buy vintage fur when possible and only support fur companies with good policies. Wearing and buying fur is one the most controversial issues.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. The fact is that real fur is much better all around environmentally and economically is a fact. Trapping and hunting contributes to wildlife population control. Fur farms are a sustainable business. Those that want to do good for the planet by supporting electronic vehicles (which I support as well) because of the lack of fossil fuel use, should also realize that the faux fur industry produces hundreds of tone of non biodegradable fossil fuel based garments. Do some homework people.

        Liked by 2 people

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