We’ve been fighting together to save our marriage. After the last discovery of his online shit show hard lines were drawn. The immutable lines which may not be crossed, boundaries around respect and how to begin rebuilding trust. The most honest of feelings and experiences are no longer hidden in the corners to be tip toed around. To be honest, most of the time it’s really easy. Our relationship and loving each other has always come extremely easily. It’s why we’re still walking this road together.

There are those times when worry starts to nag at the back of my mind. My goal is to address it before I’m feeling out of control. For the most part I’m successful. One of my hardline needs to help manage these emotions is that he participate in SAA (sex addicts anonymous) with meetings a few times a week and have a sponsor doing the work to get healthy recovery and skills to manage his addiction. We don’t always agree on this, but for me it’s a required element of helping me find trust again.

The holidays were nice. I’m glad they’re over. The gray days of winter have set in and I’m starting to feel the shroud of darkness weighing on me from the unending gray skies and cold. There simply aren’t enough lights in the house to combat the gray skies. Spring will be here before you know it.

A few days before Christmas Daddy and i went for a drive to look at the holiday lights in our neighborhood. There’s a little neighborhood that everyone in that 3 block radius lights up bringing magic. We parked the car and got out and strolled the neighborhood with the puppies in tow snapping pictures here and there. The pictures of the lit up houses never come out well!

Daddy’s working full time graveyards which puts a damper on our life together in many ways. Christmas, New Years and His birthday were no exceptions. We found time to make everything special as we’ve always done.

Apparently I knocked presents out of the ball park rendering Him speechless twice (with the things He didn’t get early). 😉 I think I’ve mentioned it before, but Daddy was a professional cyclist in the 1980’s. He went pro at 16 in BMX racing and then did a year of a different kind of racing in Europe for an Italian team before retiring due to a major accent leaving Him in a body cast for quite some time. The back story goes to explain the posters I got Him of His cycling idol and early days on the Tour de France. The first one of His idol rendered Him speechless and near tears. I couldn’t have been happier! He wanted a Ted Williams (baseball) t-shirt, so I special ordered a hoodie with the classic pic of Ted in full color covering the entire sweatshirt. He was delighted. Even better is that He wears it every chance He gets. 🙂

As for me, I casually mentioned one day that I’d like to learn to paint. So the bulk of my gifts were acrylic paints, brushes, adult finger paints and special art pads for both. I didn’t jump for joy, but I was delighted. I went up into my craft room a few days later and produced my very first acrylic painting. I’m rather impressed with myself. He also got me the meat grinder attachment for my Kitchenaide mixer I wanted. Sadly, it doesn’t work properly and needs to be replaced, but I can’t wait to try out it’s replacement!! With Covid closures there are two things still in process. Beautiful slippers and a fairy statue. (I’ve been collecting fairies since I was a kid.)

Today Daddy’s up in bed getting much needed sleep! It’s our “Friday night”. lol He’s had one of those weeks where He just didn’t sleep enough or well for days on end. I’m relieved He’s finally getting His sleep out.

Time to start thinking about getting dinner started. I’m roasting a whole chicken tonight. I might try out a new flavor combo with orange and sesame. We’ll see what happens when I actually hit the kitchen.

Ciao!