Last night I was poking around FetLife and came across a question about who pays on a first date in a power exchange. I had to read all the comments and add my 2 cents. lol If you know me at all you’re not surprised. ;P
I was delighted so see the first several comments talk about healthy relationship development and the D/s dynamic being solidified after a first date. Yay! Boundaries are such a good thing!!! 😉 Daddy and I met on FetLife and established our dynamic before we met. Every rule has an exception.
My mother was born in 1932. She was 38 when I was born. Needless to say, I was raised with some really old fashioned values and morals. The realm of dating is certainly one of them! It’s also one of the areas I’ve chosen to hold onto what I was taught. When I didn’t, I reaped what I sowed.
So alas, who pays on a first date? From my hetero standpoint, the man… always. I was raised that if a man can’t afford to date you there is no way he is ready for a wife and family. My mom was a 1950’s housewife. She was married in 1952 when women didn’t work and kept the house. There wasn’t really another option. I don’t view myself as dependent on my husband by any means. I do see value in dating a man who has his life together enough to buy me dinner now and then. Past the first date or two there is a natural rhythm which takes hold of sharing expenses. I am an independent feminist as heart, afterall.
I’m curious as to how others handled dating when they were single or how you do it now if you’re single.