I remember the massive sigh and groan the entire staff gave when we were told a borderline client was coming into our program. I was really new and had no experience. Hell, I didn’t know what it was. I sat there really upset with my co-workers for judging a person they hadn’t met based on a diagnosis alone.
Over the years I’ve made that same groan more than once myself. The groan isn’t judgment, rather knowing that I’m strapping myself in for a difficult ride with this new person so I could do my best to help. Some things went very wrong in a persons life for borderline personality disorder to evolve. It’s extremely sad! Coping skills developed as a child to survive in a really horrible environment carry into adulthood creating a maladaptive adult. The very things the person wants are exactly what they won’t get based on their behaviors. Alas, the very meaning of maladaptive.
An aura of drama surrounds one with BPD. Helplessness, self harm, addiction, suicidality, suicide threats, distrust, a poor sense of self, lack of boundaries, a series of bad relationships, being taken advantage of, lack of good treatment, abandonment. As I stated before, a very sad state of affairs.
These broken souls get sympathy and support from others until the exhaustion point is reached. There is never enough to fill the empty void. The cycle of abandonment starts once again.
Therapy is long and arduous for those who attempt. The results are good in many cases, those who stick with it, anyway.
Why am I writing this post? My saturation point has been hit. Care and compassion up against a lack of willingness to do anything different. I knew from the first moment I met this person the personality disorder is there. I chose kindness and tolerance for as long as I could. I knew going in there would be a limit without change on their part. Sad for this person and their struggle, I bid adieu.