I remember the massive sigh and groan the entire staff gave when we were told a borderline client was coming into our program. I was really new and had no experience. Hell, I didn’t know what it was. I sat there really upset with my co-workers for judging a person they hadn’t met based on a diagnosis alone.
Over the years I’ve made that same groan more than once myself. The groan isn’t judgment, rather knowing that I’m strapping myself in for a difficult ride with this new person so I could do my best to help. Some things went very wrong in a persons life for borderline personality disorder to evolve. It’s extremely sad! Coping skills developed as a child to survive in a really horrible environment carry into adulthood creating a maladaptive adult. The very things the person wants are exactly what they won’t get based on their behaviors. Alas, the very meaning of maladaptive.
An aura of drama surrounds one with BPD. Helplessness, self harm, addiction, suicidality, suicide threats, distrust, a poor sense of self, lack of boundaries, a series of bad relationships, being taken advantage of, lack of good treatment, abandonment. As I stated before, a very sad state of affairs.
These broken souls get sympathy and support from others until the exhaustion point is reached. There is never enough to fill the empty void. The cycle of abandonment starts once again.
Therapy is long and arduous for those who attempt. The results are good in many cases, those who stick with it, anyway.
Why am I writing this post? My saturation point has been hit. Care and compassion up against a lack of willingness to do anything different. I knew from the first moment I met this person the personality disorder is there. I chose kindness and tolerance for as long as I could. I knew going in there would be a limit without change on their part. Sad for this person and their struggle, I bid adieu.
Succulent Savage Says... 
Working with BPD is definitely challenging. While I am usually pretty good at setting boundaries, I felt myself getting sucked into the fold with a younger client (she was 21, and recently diagnosed). In any case…it was a wild ride with her. We made some progress surrounding her self-awareness but it was a painful process. I think of her now and then and wonder how she is doing. I am grateful to be taking a break from working in mental health right now, and focusing on teaching instead. Much less self-care required 🙂
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No longer working in the field has been such a gift to myself. I miss it some days and then remember the daily stress I was under. Over the years, a few of my favorite clients were Borderline. I made a difference and got through to them. Such a gift. Heartbreaking when you can’t. Just hope the seed is planted.
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I miss it sometimes too ❤
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I guess everyone is different though. I know from personal experience that some who have a received a diagnosis of BDP can live be huge achievers in the right setting.
I am sorry for what has happened in the case you are referring to. I don’t know the particulars so I should not comment. But I do know of those with BDP who have done very well with counselling and understanding to learn balance. It can be a bumpy ride though.
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I’ve known more than a few who have succeeded to live good lives after completing therapy. The struggle along the way is hard for all involved.
I live much more fully and successfully with my mental health diagnosis than most. It takes a lot of work, but the benefits of that work are having a full life I’m proud of. ♥
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❤ ❤ ❤
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I have BPD and understand why I am a perceived nightmare in this world but with extensive therapy and support, I’m trying to love myself more and cope without causing distress. It’s working well.
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That’s fantastic!!!! 🙂 It’s a lot of work and really hard emotionally, but very possible to find recovery and balance. You go girl!!!! I struggle with those who actively choose not to seek treatment when it’s available and offered to them. Thank you for your comment. ♥
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I just replied and am not sure if it posted 😅
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