So many subs talk about punishment being a necessary part of their kink dynamic for a whole host of reasons. For some it’s the satisfaction of the punishment itself and others the accountability and others still there’s an added respect for a Dom who will punish them. i understand all of these. Daddy and i don’t have many rules and punishment isn’t even something we’ve negotiated. He doesn’t believe in it. i learned long ago that punishment only makes me more rebellious and destroys my trust in and closeness to my partner.

Daddy’s style of domination is leading me through my desire to please and serve Him. i am His treasured property and treated with the utmost love and care. He pampers me and never lets me forget just how adored i am. He makes few requests giving me lots of opportunity go above and beyond meeting His needs long before He asks. We compliment each other in a flow of gentle power exchange which is nearly unspoken.

On the rare occasion i overstep and push too far Daddy gives me “the look” and His verbal warning. Depending on His tone i know if i’m skirting the edges in a fun way or it’s time to shut it down. i only pressed too far once. Daddy was so angry He withdrew totally so He wouldn’t harm the relationship in word or deed. Simply knowing He was so upset with me was more than my little heart could take. i sobbed in His arms afraid He was going to toss me aside and not love me anymore. There is no punishment greater than knowing i’ve disappointed Daddy! From that moment forward neither of us allow things to reach a point where punishment is necessary.

i’ve heard it said many, many times that punishment is a mandatory part of any D/s relationship. i beg to differ. Good behavior and obedience are the end goal. The saying, “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” holds true for some of us subbies. 😉 i’m Daddy’s obedient, good girl because He makes me want to.

8 thoughts on “Punishment?….

  1. Amen sister. A lot of green-as-grass dommes cannot seem to separate the two. A sure fire way for me to be taken totally out of it is being screamed at off the bat. No thanks.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. So true. Too many uneducated people out there who want to cut corners to get their rocks off and don’t take the time to understand the dynamics.

        Liked by 3 people

  2. I think I’ll a little in the middle (hahah punny). I like the idea of punishments but nothing big, like adding an extra chore tomorrow or something like that. Maybe having to post about my transgression. But I don’t think punishments are essential to a D/s relationships. Plenty are earned rewards and no punishments and work happily and healthily!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. i so agree with your thoughts. Its that one look or the change in tone and the desire to please. punishment for me is not needed. Adding a chore or having me do something that i do not particularly enjoy doing can be considered a punishment but if its something that needs to be done. Have a great day

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Good post. The key takeaway for me is that there is no one correct way to do these relationships. Some might need punishments, some might not. It really is up to the people involved in the relationship.

    Liked by 2 people

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