I’m growing into a wise crone at this stage of my life. I may not like to admit it, but I have a lot of years and many experiences tucked under my belt. Observations come with age. This observation is about the eagerness of those learning something new.
I’m going to tell you a story to get to my point. It seems easiest that way. It’s how my brain operates.
After roughly 5 years work experience in mental health with one agency, I took a job with a new agency. The work was more challenging and I expanded my knowledge and skills greatly in the first couple of years. Aside from management, I was the only person on staff with any hands on, real life experience in mental health. This gave me the opportunity to coach my co-workers along their path, but also watch what happens during the learning curve. I watched each and every one of my co-workers go through the same stages on being uncertain, gaining confidence, being over confident (think rebellious teenager) and finally settling into a place of comfort where skills can grow and adapt without the turmoils of being new. For each person, I watched that teenage rebellious stage of I KNOW EVERYTHING AND YOU CAN”T TELL ME WHAT I KNOW AND DON”T set in right around the 3 year mark.
What is my purpose in this blog post, you may ask yourself? Well, I myself have been new to things and gone through those exact stages. For instance, when I first got involved in the kink community I was eager and hungry for learning and to try new things. I was even more eager to talk about what I was learning and share my journey… even when my take on things wasn’t quite right. I was insecure in my knew skills and knowledge making it hard to give me feedback in how I might grow in many, many areas.
I am far from being a master of kink. No pun intended. ;P I’m confident in my knowledge and skills based on experience and feedback from others along tried and true results. I’ve been formally trained as a submissive by an experienced Master. I’ve lived full time DD/lg for a couple of years now. I’ve been a Mistress and owned submissives.
The learning in BDSM never ceases… nor should it. I am speaking today of the arrogance which comes when one feels grounded in their learning and ceases to accept feedback. This happens in every type of learning.
One of the issues I’ve seen more times than I can count is those who have concept that what they are writing is kink shaming because their intention isn’t such. It’s also those exact same people who stand hard fast denying that they have ever kink shamed, when given feedback.
Teaching on a subject of which you have no mastery is not wise. One can only truly teach what they themselves know.