I tried going to be with Daddy a couple hours ago. Rather than toss and turn, keeping him up and making us both miserable, I got up. Sleep will come when it comes. One of the beautiful things about no longer following someone else’s time frame. 😉 I used to get frustrated with my mom when she’d tell me to do this. Nearly impossible to do when you’re working full time. It’s nice to be up and not have to worry about when I sleep. 😉
This entire week has been long and stressful. Yesterday was kind of the crowning jewel in the day. PG&E was out doing some basic safety checks for us and found that our water heater is emitting too much CO2. It’s safe, but BARELY. It just happens to be a year, almost to the day, that the water heater went out last year followed by the hot water main bursting flooding our home with the damage still not repaired. It hit some serious PTSD and stress buttons. I’m honestly, still recovering and getting my mind to slow down. I’ve had words with a few people related to the house and how the trust is being handled….. or better stated… NOT handled. I’ve reached my get big and really fight place. There’s not much stopping me once I reach this point. I’ve been here with a few things before.
Daddy had a job interview this morning, which he got, by the way. GOOOOO Daddy!!!!! He spent all day doing paperwork and what seemed like a zillion calls. I’m already having mixed feelings about him going back to work. Of course it’s necessary!!! I’m not talking about that. The isolation and lonely factor. We’ve finally got a really nice groove to us being home together all the time and I’m not alone and lonely all the time anymore. I’m dreading the days and hours of being alone with the puppies. Guess it’s time I start creating a plan for myself.
I went back to basics today. My anxiety was through the roof, panic attack level with racing thoughts and just…. miserable. I was not ok! I started doing a little bit of house and yard work and wore myself out. I’ve cleaned out planting beds, trimmed rose bushes, pulled out bricks in our front patio along with a few other things. My mind is quiet. I see accomplishments around me.
Starting to slow down and thinking about closing my eyes…..