Breathing….

I’ve been quiet for a multitude of reasons. Most recently being deathly ill. If you’ve been reading my blog a while, you know that I get horrific sinus infections and bronchitis. Another hit me. This is one of the worst ever. I’d wrapped up a round of Prednisone and thought I was on the mend until the worst cough of my life took hold Saturday. Sadly, it took 2 doctor appointments to get me more Prednisone and a change in antibiotics. I’m in the 2nd day and I feel human. More than human…. I feel like I’m going to survive.

My cough was so bad that I threw my back out, every muscle in my body hurt and I didn’t get reprieves from the cough. Let me tell you, OTC Robittusin DM doesn’t touch a cough like that! The first doctor gave me Tesslon Perles which are magical. I swear by them! Daddy described my violent coughing as looking like exorcism scenes in The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Great movie, by the way, if you haven’t seen in. I also had a COVID-19 test on Tuesday. Waiting on results as we self-quarantine til we know for sure.

Daddy stepped up big time to take care of His little one. ♥ Poor thing has been sleeping all day. Now that I’m able to be up some and manage basic self-care without distress He’s hit the sheets for much needed rest. He’s been going pretty close to round the clock making sure I’m OK since Saturday.

I’ve always been a bit of a control freak in the kitchen. Being sick and down for over a week has forced me to sit back and let Daddy do it. He’s got some serious culinary skills! More than I thought. He made one of the best roast chickens I’ve ever had a couple nights ago. I’m about to fix myself a sandwich from the leftovers. Honestly, I’m a little sad to think I’m stuck with deli chicken after this one.

Someone recently liked a post from last year about when my pipes burst and Daddy’s best friend was in town in the middle of the disaster. I stopped to read it again. That was such a bad time!!! The beauty of journaling life is being able to go back and revistit. See how things have changed. A year, almost the day, my water main burst sending my life and my home into total chaos. My marriage was tested. Friendships strained. My home still isn’t repaired after that. No kitchen and my floors are a disaster. We were saying the other day that it’s become… normal. *sigh* Eventually it’ll get done once the world opens back up and my lawyer is able to fully do his job. Sadly that’s what it’s taken. The funds sit in the bank with the trustee who refuses to write the checks to get the work done. I’ve learned a great deal about acceptance and letting go. The horrible “guest” is no longer in our lives at all. I made it clear not long after she left that Daddy had to make a choice between His past and His future. He chose me. 😉

Reading that entry, I was reminded of just how it felt to fight for His attention with that friend here. Boundaries crossed. Rules established. Choices made…. mostly His incredibly bad ones. We’re still working out the kinks in our marriage. All pun intended!!! I see progress. I feel growth. Willingness. No one is perfect. Heaven knows I’m not!! No relationship is perfect. I honestly think that more relationships have big issues than people are willing to talk about. There’s also a willingness to give up far too easily.

I have a man that works hard to provide for us. He takes care of me 24/7 when I’m sick, which is more often than I’d like to admit. We laugh… a lot!!! He’s my bestest friend in the whole world. He protects me and cherishes my little side like I didn’t know was possible. He keeps choosing me… even that is slow and challenging. He knows he has someone amazing and irreplaceable. He works to keep me. Sometimes the most beautiful things are broken. I’m thinking of the Japanese vases which are repaired with gold making them more sturdy and more beautiful. I think we both fall into this category….. as does our relationship.

Time for that chicken sandwich! I’m hungie!!!!

8 thoughts on “Breathing….

  1. I’m sorry you were sick but it’s great to hear that you two are back on track.

    I agree that all relationships are tough and everyone goes through things, regardless of what people say. I pride myself on having an amazing relationship right now, but a few months ago I was ready to call it quits. Life happens, people change, and you have to choose to hold onto it and work at it. It’s not easy but it brings a new level of appreciation for each other. Like you said, he keeps choosing you. That’s huge.

    Wishing you well ❤️🖤

    Liked by 3 people

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