Being Big Sucks Sometimes

Of course i love being little! What little doesn’t love relaxing into little space and letting go? Daddy will handle everything! Yesterday morning i had a reminder of just how bad it sucks to be big… and all by myself.

i had some irregular swelling in one of my legs with discoloration and cooler to the touch than the other one. Given a history of type 2 diabetes and a previous TIA, blood clot was the biggest worry. Doctor said to take me into the ER. i’m fine!!! i was home within a few hours.

Daddy worries about me and takes really good care of me. Always!! When we arrived at the hospital Daddy couldn’t come in with me. He looked sick with worry! Leaving His little girl at the hospital was horrible for Him, too. It didn’t really hit me til i got home how hard it was. i went through the motions and got everything done i needed to. i was pretty confident i didn’t have a blood clot, but better safe than sorry.

Daddy was worried sick until i was back under His care. As for me? i was big and handled it all in stride… until i was home with Daddy. When i need to be big and handle big life things and stress, i slay it. Takes me a couple hours to come back down and relax. To be feel calm and safe enough to settle back into my routine and allow myself to be little. Yesterday was the same.

A few hours after being home the mental and physical exhaustion kicked in. i needed to sleep. i needed Daddy to hold me tight and tuck me in. i just needed my Daddy!!!! He needed me like that, too. Once i was wrapped up safe in His arms i felt the stress melt away. i fell asleep on His shoulder with His arms holding me tight sucking on His thumb. Safe at last. Daddy had me.

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