In the midst of the world falling apart around me and anger everywhere, I want to take a moment to share joy for being part of the most inclusive group of people I’ve ever met. The idea of love is love spans beyond gender to wash away the lines which separate us.
Coming out for me was far from pleasant where my family was concerned. I was hit with shaming and judgement. I was labeled as unstable. Family members said I’d run off with the first guy who patted my ass. I was asked really insensitive and rude questions. I was told it was not acceptable for any of our family friends to know I’m not straight. It was even more unacceptable for my nieces and nephews to know!!!
I landed in the soft lap of a community of people who loved and accepted me just how I was… questioning my sexuality and a little crazy at times. I saw and felt more love and understanding in this community of people than I’d seen in my entire life. There are icky people everywhere, in every group, but overall… this was a good one!
On the outside I live a traditional hetero lifestyle. I’m married to man and I’m a traditional housewife. This doesn’t erase that I’m bisexual and have a heart that thrives in the midst of the LGBT world.
I married a Nigerian man prior to my current husband. My mother said two things to me which I’ll never forget. She sighed in relief and told me she’d rather I be married to a black man than be with a woman. Shortly after the wedding she commented that I was going to have a house full of pickaninny’s. Both of these comments go against everything I believe in! These judgments don’t exist the LGBTQ community I functioned in. It’s why I have my heart there. It’s why I continue to remind the world that I’m a proud, card carrying, banner waving member of the Queer World!!
A friend asked me the other day why I identify as bisexual and not pansexual given how many different genders there are. My answer is simple, yet not. I support all genders and their expression. My sexual attraction is limited to cis-gender male and female individuals.