From the time I was a wee tot I was a girlie girl. I’ve loved pink and twirly dresses and everything pretty. I was also the little girl who dug in the backyard, climbed trees, played on the monkey bars and played with the little bugs. I’ve always been both frilly and rough and tumble. I have space for both without needing to label them. It’s all ME!
My journey to this balanced place wasn’t smooth. LOL My mom was very feminine, but not girlie. She dressed like Ina Garten. She wore dresses, but they were always more functional and classic. When I was around 7 she stopped buying me the frilly dresses no matter how much I begged. She pushed me towards her style. Functional, clean, neat and anything but girlie! Eventually I forgot how much I loved dresses and the frills. In a way, my mom neutered me. When I started buying my own clothes, I always had a closet full of dresses which I never wore. I was embarrassed and uncomfortable.
My weight played a big part in how I dressed and how my mother pressured me to dress. I stopped looking like a little girl around 11 and had a woman’s body by 15. I didn’t get heavy til I was out of high school and in my 20s. My mom was always heavy and had the attitude of hide your body, solid colors and long lines make you look thinner. Your body is ugly and you shouldn’t show it… at all. The bigger I got the more I hid in every possible way. Don’t look like a girl. Don’t try to be sexy or pretty because you’re not. I internalized all the shit I’d heard for so long.
In my late 20s I came out as bisexual. I did the stereotypical thing and attempted to go butch. Yeah, it doesn’t work for me! lol I started finding myself in the process of identifying my sexuality. Frilly dresses came out of the closet. I got my hair done monthly no matter what. I learned about skin care and lost a ton of weight. The gay boys took me under their wing and taught me about beauty! There was no going back!!! I’ve only blossomed more and more since then.
So what’s my style? I’m a sexy, frilly, girlie tomboy. You’re equally as likely to see me in cut off jean shorts and a flannel shirt as you are a fashion dress with heels and pearls. My style is what I feel like in the moment. A few themes carry through all of it. I’m bold. I’m always noticed no matter how quiet I am. I like prints and color. I don’t pay attention to trends. I wear what I want and like. I get complimented on my style often. I’m not afraid to be seen. I experiment. One day you’ll see me in pigtails the next time you see me I’ll have cut most of my hair off. The color and styles of my hair are even more variable than the clothes I wear. I’m not one thing. I’m all of them. I pull it all of perfectly because it’s true to who I am!!!