So many people have the expectation that others will be gentle with their feelings and pussy foot around an issue. There’s also an expectation many people have that everything will be handled in private. I’m not wired that way. It’s not a bad thing.
The same supervisor that went through the hurt feelings aren’t always your fault alone routine with me, also had a similar therapeutic approach. We both believed in addressing things in the moment and it’s not necessary to do everything in private. Sometimes it’s helpful to bring something out into the open. Having a thicker skin is a good thing.
I used to be really sensitive and take everything personally, rather than looking at something as a growing opportunity… or think on what’s been said and decide it’s validity and the source. For years now I look forward to constructive criticism. I actually go in search of it. How I can grow in this area? What can I do better? Where am I lacking? How could I have handled this situation better? This outfit was an epic fail… why? If I ask a question, I expect an honest and direct answer.
I’ve been told that I have an incredibly strong sense of self along with remarkable self-esteem. It took me years to get there.
I’ve had people tell me I’ve been too harsh or blunt and it hurt their feelings. In that instance, I will immediately take a step back and redirect my approach on a topic. I can also be extremely gentle and sensitive. Sometimes there is validity to my harshness, other times it a matter of a personality conflict. I hold my tongue and sometimes end relationships when I find that someone isn’t open to honesty or I need to tip toe around their feelings all the time.
There are a number of people in my life who appreciate and rely on my directness.
I’m bold and direct. I’m honest to a fault. I’m loving and loyal. I’m also not everyone’s cup of tea. I have a very dark sense of humor and lean towards the inappropriate in most instances. I deal with the world differently than many people. I’m strong and opinionated. It’s who I am and how I’m wired. I don’t deal well with overly sensitive, needy people…. just as they don’t deal well with me. Neither is right or wrong… just not a match.