I don’t have nightmares often. It’s been quite a while since I’ve had one, come to think of it. Until last night….

It was hours after re-marrying my ex-husband. OMFG!!! Our marriage was bed enough the first time. Where did this come from?? We were setting up our bedroom in the home I grew up in… in my bedroom.

I looked at him and freaked out. I can’t do this! I don’t want to be with you. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!! (Words I screamed at him so many times in the last year of trying to end our marriage. He refused to move out, but that’s a tale for another day.)

Once again, he wouldn’t leave. He didn’t scream at me like he always did before. He stood there quietly, as if he wanted to heal the wounds and damage done before. He walked around the house opening the curtains and washing dishes. There was no fight in him… only kindness.

I was stunned, having no idea what to do with this situation. How did we get married? How did I agree to it?! Was I stupid? I felt torn. He was being everything I wanted him to be during our marriage. I couldn’t trust what was happening. The Honeymoon phase always ended, each time worse than the last.

The last thing I remember before waking up was asking him what he wanted. He stood tall and with so much kindness…..told me he wanted to be with me. The tears ran down my face and I was broken hearted.

I woke up to Grumpy licking my face as he layed on my neck. Daddy was sleeping soundly in our bed. All was well in the world.