My eyes are rolled so far back in my head right now i can hardly think typing those words! lol Sexy is anything but what tonight is. Daddy’s at work and i’m at home slowly working my way through chores. Our house is still a construction zone. *sigh* Hopefully it’ll be over soon. It won’t be soon enough!!!

Without a kitchen sink it’s harder than you’d think to keep up on dishes! i have Celiac disease, so i can’t just go the easy route and go out every meal or live off microwave TV dinners. Pots and pans are bound to happen. We’re buying stock in Liquid Plumber in the near future! LOL i only wish i were kidding. We either wash dishes in a bathroom sink/tub or outside. Both of those options have superior suckage ratings!

Have i mentioned that i’m an OCD housekeeper? Yeah… this ordeal is triggering me into IDGAF and procrastination…. the other side of OCD behavior. So doing stuff is even harder when i just can’t stand it any longer. *sigh*

Tonight, i’ve taken all of the dishes into the backyard and am washing them under the spigit after soaking in hot, soapy water to make them easier to handle. Squatting isn’t great on my back with crushed disks at L4, L5, S1. Hunched over the bathroom sinks isn’t much better. i’m honestly not sure which is worse?!

When this ordeal will be over is out of my control in all ways. 😦 The insurance company is being a pain the ass. The trustee is being even worse. If only i had the $20 grand necessary to just pay out to get it done and be reimbursed after the fact.

i’m tired, snarky, my back aches really bad… yet there is more to be done. Always more. i’ve already been through the angry and depressed phases. Now i’m in the fuck it, this is life for now and i’m complacent and mildly irritable about the whole thing. Stuck and helpless aren’t feelings i deal with well. i’ve always been fiercely independent and i don’t do well with being dependent on others for ANYTHING!!! i can be dependent if it’s a choice… like with Daddy. Take away my choice of action and freedom and i’m not gonna go silently and sit by politely. i’m just not wired that way.

Guess it’s time to hang up the chores for tonight, put my feet up and find a movie or show to throw myself into. Time to be done with today. *sigh* If i haven’t mentioned it recently… i hate what my life looks like at the moment. There are good days and moments, but overall… i HATE life and what it’s been like for the past 2 1/2 months. At least this won’t last forever…

If you read through this whole thing… thank you! lol i’m not particularly pleasant at the moment.