Expectations. I’m going to share with you a philosophy I try to live by when it comes to expectations. Expectations are the breeding grounds of resentment. With that said… please, go on and read about my expectations of self and others in TMI Tuesday. 😉
1. What makes you insecure? After years of working on myself, growing, therapy and general life experience, I can say that insecurity is now one of those things I rarely feel. It was the norm rather than the exception for many years of my life. The only thing that is guaranteed to make me feel insecure is when I’ve had a big mental health event. Anxiety doesn’t fall into this category for me. I’m talking when I’ve had a hypo-manic episode and been out of control in some way or another. There is guilt and shame in the aftermath that’s hard to deal with. There’s also a fear in there that I won’t bounce back to baseline and I’m hard to live with… to the point of being hard to love. Not unlovable… hard to love at times. I work hard to keep myself in balance so these episodes are few and far between and the impact is much smaller.
2. What do you expect from a romantic love relationship? I can give you a laundry list of things I want and need in a romantic relationship, but my expectations are really simple. Love me and be honest. That’s it.
3. What do you expect from a friendship? Like love relationships, I have lots of things I look for in a friendship. My expectations of the other person are to be genuine and honest. Without those two things there can be no relationship at all.
4. What do you expect from a Friends-with-Benefits situation? Seriously?! I don’t have any expectations of someone I’m not emotionally involved with. I have rules that I insist we follow for safety and respect, but I don’t expect anything of them. Once you begin expecting things of a person in your life, especially a sex partner…. you’re in a relationship whether they are or not.
5. What expectations do you have for yourself? I pinned myself in a box with my expectations for many years. As a perfectionist, I could never meet my unending list of things I should be, do, blah, blah, blah. I had no room for being human in the expectations I held for myself. Now I have simple expectations for myself. Be kind, be honest, be true to myself and maintain my relationships in a way we both feel good about it. I have a few small things like taking pride in my appearance and my home which is the simple expectation that I love myself.
Bonus: Post one picture (art, photograph, drawing) that depicts how you feel today.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!