Day 8 of Little Introspection: How do you discover you’re a little?

I didn’t discover I’m a little. I got a name for it and found that having a Daddy in my life made it easier and whole lot more fun. The emotional gratification I found in being a little with Daddy is what I’ve looked for all my life.

I really can’t talk about discovering I’m a little without talking about my mom. There were many reasons that she and we lived together a great deal of my life prior to her death. In many ways it was fantastic and in others it hindered my independence. This may very well be part of why I’m a little. We walked a constant line of best friends and mother/daughter. Example you ask? On her death bed she literally took time to explain to me one last time the proper way to load the dishwasher! In her eyes I was an adult, but never fully in the way she looked at and treated my brothers. I was always her babygirl. Mom was always there… a stable presence in my life, though the emotional element of closeness was never totally there.

Mom and I shared a love of Disney, crafting, comfort foods and I was always able to be “little me” to some degree at home. There was never an expectation that I be adult all of the time. She got angry with me for feeling little and how I dealt with things at times, but otherwise it was more than ok… almost encouraged.

I lost my mom about 5 1/2 years ago. The loss was more than the typical loss of a parent to an adult. It was in her death that I went searching for someone to love me in the ways she did… except in a romantic sexual relationship…a partner…. a husband. Stumbling full force into the BDSM community introduced me to all sorts of D-types and S-types and everything in between. My little side naturally comes bubbling out when I love someone and feel safe. I didn’t have a name for it before, though it had been present in EVERY sexual relationship I’ve ever had.

Daddy and i click on a level where I can be totally little and dependent or as big and grown up as I am and everything in between with the constant love, support and understanding to be His little one. The beauty of having Daddy in my life is that I’m loved EXACTLY how I am and not asked to change. He desires to protect and take care of me… while adoring adult Jodie just as much as the tender little and the bratty middle.

Discovery for me wasn’t finding out, it was finding an appropriate partner and getting a name for how I feel.

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