DAY 29: Is pain or humiliation (spankings for example) a part of your submission? What is your relationship to it? Do you embrace it as a part of your submission, tolerate it as necessary or have some other type of relationship with it?
i am anything but a masochist!! i don’t shy away from any and all sensation play including pain… just mild. i don’t get the highs from pain like some do. The part that excites me is feeling physically dominated. Pinned down, hair pulling, breast slapping, mild biting, light scratching, hard spanks during sex… this is the extent for my desire or willingness to really do pain. Yes, nipple clamps on occasion are fun, too. 😉
Humiliation is a part of BDSM i set as a hard limit at first. Over time i have found a definite place for it and parts i truly enjoy. i’ve struggled to over come major body shaming issues, so that is an absolute hard limit in the realm of humiliation. i found that verbal sexual degradation is a turn on at the right time. The struggle of being ordered to do something embarrassing without a way out is one form of humiliation i truly find erotic and fun.
i’ve found that with humiliation, especially, talking about limits, expectations, supports, aftercare, and emotional triggers ahead of time are crucial to maintaining the integrity of the trust in a D/s relationship. Humiliation and degradation are forms of emotional sadism and shouldn’t be taken lightly.