The world has felt big and chaotic for too long now. i’ve been forced into being Big far too often and for too long. It wears me down. Last night, Daddy came to sit next to me on the sofa and i curled up in His arms. i needed Him, i needed to be little… i needed to ask Him to help me manage the stress of what’s going on in our home and the drama surrounding it.

He held me tight, stroking my hair, kissing my forehead and my lips. i couldn’t get close enough. i told Him that i was feeling lost and tired and disconnected from Him. When i told Him i need Daddy, His first thought was sexually… that, too! i was talking about the emotional support of letting Daddy handle things and being His little girl. He pulled me in even tighter and slipped fully in Daddy mode and took care of His little one.

The stress has gotten me so out of whack with my schedule and managing basic care things that i’m losing control and having fits and tantrums over things i’d normally be able to deal with because my blood sugar has dropped too low, i’m physically exhausted and my meds aren’t being taken on any kind of a schedule. These are three things i can’t let get of whack… i’m diabetic and i’m bipolar. This is a recipe for disaster especially under sustained stress. Never good… but especially under stress.

i did what all good girls do…. i asked Daddy to help make sure that i’m taking care of myself in these particular areas. He joked a little, which is what Daddy does… then He stroked my hair and assured me He was on board. i asked Him if there was anything i could do for Him to make this disastrous time any better. He couldn’t think of anything on the spot. Sheepishly, i asked if it would help Him if i worked at being more under control and not so upset over every little thing. He sighed, and said it would. i could hear that He didn’t want to hurt me or put more stress on me by needing me to be more balanced. i heard a good Daddy gently guiding me back on the right path and letting me know the effect my behavior has on Him.

After a bit more snuggling things were right in the world again. Daddy made love to me last night. We never have totally vanilla sex…. sometimes passionate and loving with a mild kinky twist is called what feels right. Last night was one of those times.

i was up really early and walked Ruffi. Yes, i took my meds and i’m about to have breakfast now. Great start to a new day.