To Sir or Not to Sir

i have always been intrigued by the topic of how a sub addresses a Dom that is not her Dom. Conversely, how a Dom addresses a sub who is not His. Add into the equation an owned and collared sub communicating with another Dom and i’m fascinated!

Respect is the bottom line to this discussion. i am an owned and collared babygirl, therefore my actions reflect positively or negatively on Daddy. How i am treated in return by others is a reflection of respect or disrespect to Him. This does translate into the vanilla world as well, though it is held to a higher standard within the BDSM community. Respect and trust are the cornerstones of BDSM making this a topic of importance for unattached subs and Doms alike.

Daddy was a Master long before He met me, just as i was a babygirl long before i met Him. He approached me as a person first, not a sub. This is how i’ve found most experienced Doms do it. He was not Sir, Daddy or Master until we entered into a formal relationship. The same was true of changes in capitalization denoting the power exchange.

i am Daddy’s propertyHis kitten… His little one. For anyone, Dom or otherwise, to address me by anything other than my name is a huge violation of His personal property and space. Addressing me as Sweetie, Honey, Baby, Babygirl, little, kitten or anything of the like are bound to get a stern talking to from Daddy. There are few which i’m extremely sensitive to and will react to with anger immediately. All communication with me in the kink scene is first vetted by Daddy for content, reason for desiring contact and establishing rules for communication. For the most part, Daddy addresses any issues Himself in the vetting process. Should He miss something or someone address me personally going against His direct command, i will alert Him. He was violated and disrespected beyond my personal comfort.

Given that Daddy is so protective and possessive of me being His, the same rule applies when addressing other people. Dom(me)s are to be treated with respect. i am a reflection of Him. i am not to refer to other Dom(me)s by a dominant title. Sir, Mistress, Lady, Master, Daddy ….the list goes on, are all earned titles between a Dom and a sub. For me to address another from a submissive stance is a direct dishonoring of my Master, my Daddy. For another D-type to ask that of me is also a disrespect to Him.

These are the rules which Daddy and i follow. Not all use this same guideline.

From my personal stance as a sub, i will not call a Dom by a title until i feel an established relationship and it comes naturally. Using a title in either direction is a sign of affection and earned respect. i think it’s important to remember that simply being a D-type does not put you in a position of demanding submission from an s-type, just as being a sub does mean we can assume domination from every Dom we meet. Using D/s titles is exactly what this does.

3 thoughts on “To Sir or Not to Sir

  1. Love this, and I’ve been thinking about it, too. I’ve put on Fet that if anyone wishes to speak with me, they need to address my Owner first. I so love that feeling, too!! It has such an ‘Us’ feeling to it, that took me a very long time to earn, so I am VERY respectful and careful with. It’s a trust within ourselves I find, as well. The trust in myself that I can be honorable and trustworthy and respectful of the relationship and Him. I’m sure you’ve picked up my doubts about myself in my writings. At times it may have seemed my Owner was the one making impossible demands, but it was really just His ability to see what I was really doing, even when I couldn’t. To cum to a new place of being clear in my intentions and ACTING in the same way has been very empowering for me. And the rewards have been beyond anything I could have imagined with Him! Sorry, kind off topic. Thanks, Jodie.

    Liked by 1 person

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