BDSM: Power Exchange

i am like a sponge soaking up every drop of information i can about a topic which interests me. Needless to say, BDSM and all things related are high at the top of my list. Reading about the Power Exchange dynamic sparked my interest the other night.

Furcissy posted about the WIPE and WOPE models of BDSM/kink. WIPE is BDSM with power exchange and WOPE is BDSM without power exchange. At first, i had a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of BDSM actvity without a power exchange dynamic. i did what i do best… read, ask questions, strive to get my questions answered and sate that need for knowledge.

For those of you who may not know, power exchange is the bread and butter of D/s relationships. A submissive relinquishes some of his/her personal power and control to the Dominant who picks up the equal amount of power and control offered. For some, like Daddy and me, it is something we do all of the time. There are others who do this only in certain circumstances. The level of power and control given to the Dominant depends on the couple and what they desire. There is no right or wrong way to do power exchange as long as it’s done freely.

i struggled to understand how a BDSM dynamic would work without any power exchange. After some serious thought, what i came up with is that this style just doesn’t match my own style and needs in a sexual relationship. Long before i met Daddy, i had a friend on Fet i used to play with from time to time. We both like to switch under the right circumstances. He saw us both as equals all the time, though we played a particular role during a scene. This didn’t work for me, because at the end of the day my natural state is to revert back to my sweet, little subby side that needs a strong protective Dom. This does not exist at all in a WOPE model. After scene, both parties go back to 100% equal status no matter who did what to whom. Nothing kinky transcends that one scene until the next scene is negotiated and played out. To me, this style is lacking the part that matters to me most… the stability of D/s roles even if the relationship is casual and play only.

As i was asking questions on Furcissy’s post i got a nice description of the WOPE model. She described it as essentially kinksters who want to play that do not desire or need the power exchange element. This makes perfect sense.

7 thoughts on “BDSM: Power Exchange

  1. Hi, Jodie. I have a good friend who is also this way. She is very in control of herself, but enjoys being controlled in the bedroom by her Dom/boyfriend. I, like you, don’t know or can’t even imagine it any other way than 24/7. And yet our relationships with our Doms are very different, too. For some reason, probably because He knows I slip quite easily into unsubmissive behavior, He can be pretty strict with me. He has been EXTREMELY gentle and nurturing lately, though. I do love it as much as the roughness, I must say. My girlfriend doesn’t feel submissive like this out of the bedroom and questioned me one day about my relationship. Like you said, our dynamics are as diverse as the people living them! Have been so busy moving (found a place!!) that I haven’t written much, but your posts always give some wonderful fodder for future posts! My best to you both. Nancy

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      1. Moving everything out in a few days and to such a nice place!! It’s a big step for me! No roommate, so it’s me on my own for the first time in about 24 years!! It’s time for what you spoke of—just being with me, myself and I. Making my own way first before being with the love of my life!!

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      2. So excited for you. ♥ My home is STILL under construction a month later. I’m beyond crabby and angry. Daddy and i are both struggling to hold it together and not go all Master & Domme on the situation. I can’t wait to get out of this house. I truly hate it here. The home I loved has turned into a place of stress and sadness. Soon I’ll be off onto a new adventure of buying OUR first home together and starting the life we truly want. Waiting sucks. Sorry to be Debbie Downer. It’s been rough today. Daddy’s sick, too. Just makes it all that much worse…

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  2. Oh gosh, Jodie. So sorry. You guys have really been through so much lately! I wish you both love and a speedy change. Buying your first home together sounds like heaven!! And although I know the waiting sucks (I totally get the heartache of waiting), you two will be in total bliss once it all comes! Blessings❤️🏡❤️

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