What is it about human nature that we’ll ride whatever shitty situation we’re in until the wheels fall off and the train crashes in an epic disaster derailing our lives? Seriously?!?! i’m aware that not everyone does this, but there are certainly enough of us that it’s worth asking the question. i’m not the only one! lol
i had an eye opening conversation with a friend not too long ago about all this shit with my house. As she shared her experience leaving her ex-husband and ending up in a tiny apartment with her mom, losing full custody of her daughter to save them both and finding peace in knowing she is safe where she is… i was gently reminded that this isn’t my first time and that i don’t do change well. It’s the one area of my life i have absolutely no grace at all!!!
i hated the house my mom left me. i battled trying to stay there. i’ve hated the trust and how it was written from the moment i first read it and saw the restrictions and control over my life. i’ve fought and struggled to make it work. i’ve screamed and fought, kicked, blamed and just about everything else trying to make this shit work for me… but it never will.
A friend graciously pointed out the need to ‘rip off the bandaid’ and let it go! It’s like the sun came out pushing away the constant rain cloud i’ve been living under for the last few weeks.
Let the house go… let the trust go… split the money with my brothers and move on. Build a life Daddy & i want together with calm and joy… no strings attached… no history. Move the fuck on!!!!
Daddy & i have already risked everything to make our life together. Go the next step and soar.
i’ll do my best to keep the frame of mind i’m in right now through the rest of this process. 😉 i know i’ve been a whiny, teary, overwhelmed brat!!! Hmmm… seems a few of you love me anyway! lol